As I mentioned before, men often than not, will go on a date and pull out the salesman script.

- Sure, dude. That’s how you get the girl -

Wrong … dude.

I never like planning a date or going out on dates. It seems to me that as soon as the dreaded “date” word comes up, shields and walls are up and ready to block any attempts to real communication. All scripts and communication misdirection are put on the table. Suddenly, couples seem very stiff. The male begins to work his; “list of potential questions to get her to bed” item by item and the woman becomes wonder woman. Swinging her wrists left and right on a circular path, blocking any kind of bullet-fast-attempt-to-get-in-her-pants approach.

Diffusing Wonder Woman

Women are all about; anticipation, being mysterious, and connections. Let’s begin with anticipation.

• Don’t ask a woman on a date. Ask her to go out and do something fun. Horse back riding, yoga, dancing lessons, tango lessons, hike, comedy show, etc. This will diffuse her defense mechanism and you won’t have to find topics to talk about. If she anticipates your intentions you are not fun to her unless she is literally throwing herself at you. Otherwise, just keep it casual, relax and fun.
• Don’t Interview Her. Avoid pulling out a script to ask her what does she do, where does she live, etc. It is a very boring conversation and she already knows what to answer. Yes, it is important to establish the fundamentals but don’t spend to much time analyzing them. Try to mix actions, fun and conversation. Women are multidimensional in nature. Remember – she has five senses and they are ready to be stimulated. Use music, smells, chocolate, lotions, movement, etc.
• Connect. I never go out with someone I have not established a connection with. Therefore, I have never gone on a blind date. Blind dates don’t make sense to me since the connection has to be established under unpredictable circunstances. Then, you have to stick around until the date is iver. It is much better to take a few days to build interest and anticipation. Connect before your meeting. Once you have met, the connection becomes more personal and visual. Therefore, really pay attention to her bosy language and be comfortable with silence. It shows you are confident and don’t want to rush. This creates a calming effect and a much better communication.

I will write more about body language later on. Sign up to our totally free dating tips newsletter

image by: flickr.com

Unfortunately, it is only after a few months into a relationship when we start to notice irrational or even contradictory behavior in our partner. This behavior of cold and hot is known as passive-aggressive. The book Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man lists 11 responses that may help identify passive-aggressive behavior. ^[2]

• Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of engendering a feeling of insecurity in others
• Chronically being late and forgetting things: another way to exert control.
• Fear of competition
• Fear of dependency
• Fear of intimacy as a means to act out anger: The passive aggressive often can’t trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone.
• Making chaotic situations
• Making excuses
• Obstructionism
• Sulking
• Victimization response: instead of recognizing one’s own weaknesses.

A passive-aggressive person may not have all of these behaviors, and may have other non-passive-aggressive traits.

Reference : http://www.wikipedia.com

Image source : http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Scientists have now looked at MHC (Major Histocompatibility Complex) compatibility among romantic couples and they report that the more genes in this system that a couple share, the more sexually unfaithful the woman is and the more she is attracted to other men during in the middle of her menstrual cycle—when she is ovulating and likely to get pregnant.

Scientist now have hard proven data that shows women are more likely to cheat on men the more compatible genes they have. In a smelling t-shirt test women chose men’s t-shirt based on BO. I can only imagine women sitting next to each other along a long table passing sweaty t-shirts and comparing notes … (vomit);

Test Subject Woman #5 – “Mmmhh … this one smells like cheese … wait a minute, it actually smells like sour lipton soup with a hint of sweaty balls. Yes, I’m attracted to this one t-shirt”

Of course the menstrual cycle plays a role in increasing the chances for a woman to cheat especially in the middle of her menstrual cycle – when she is ovulating and likely to get pregnant.
Summarizing, women are more likely to cheat on their partners when;

• She has highly compatible genes to her partner and
• In the middle of her cycle
• When there is exotic foreign man sweating while lifting weights or salsa dancing

These observations leads me to the next topic;
How to Avoid Having Your Wife Cheat on You
Here are a few points to remember;

1. Very important; DON’T MARRY YOUR COUSIN
2. Tell her you love her in the middle of her cycle and have crazy sex with her
3. Don’t let her go salsa dancing at that club. Her nose is going to drive her crazy
4. Sign her up to an all women gym. This one is optional

Reference : helenfisher.typepad.com

img by: flickr.com

Most people read tons of magazines and books. Most guys read about literature, cars, newspapers, science, technology, psychology, philosophy, Greek philosophy, European philosophy, politics, who thinks this or that, and what’s happening here and there.

Information, information, information

Unfortunately, our society teaches us to consume information; useful and useless information.

We are taught to accumulate knowledge whether it is interesting to us or not. We stop listening when we fill our brains with information.

Most men accumulate great quantities of information, these are the good guys. They want to be praised and admired by how much information they know even if it is not actionable.

Where am I going with this? Having an amazing memory not necessarily means that you gonna get the girl. Remember the bad boy? How does he do it? He does know nothing, he has no conversation topics but he still gets the girl.

STOP selling your memory and start taking action.

Which action?

Talk a little 20%, Listen 80%

Dancing

Relationships and Dating are like dancing; The leader follows the follower’s body language and the follower follows the leader. It is a beautiful lifelong dance.

Improve your communication skills, relationship, friendships, dating and dancing by saying yes, being specific, focus, keeping the flow and change, change, change.

Keep it on your tip toes always fun and interesting.

It has been tough for some of my male friends to read the signs women send when they are loosing interest. One of them asked me, – “how can I tell when the passion is gone? Is it when she start complaining about my socks on the floor?” You are asking me? I have no clue – I thought. But, here are seven signs to watch for;

1. She finds you annoying
2. You get a list of all your faults … and then some.
3. You try to get the magic back. But … she is not really into magic anymore.
4. Things don’t make sense. Ok, this one is tricky because most of the time they don’t.
5. Now … she is gay. Mmmmh, she never complained before.
6. Start finding weird dead things
7. Everything is drama and you don’t care anymore

My dear friend, watch this funny video about “How to tell when a relationship is over”.

Vixen: Poison for Your Relationship is a comic that evolved out of conversation at “Girls’ Night” at the Southern Sun in Boulder, CO.

My friend Karen* had an ex in town with whom she was trying to make a decision about moving forward. He was from out of town and she was considering moving to be closer to him. He flew out for the weekend and on Saturday night they partied a little too hard. The next day he was violently ill. He retched for three hours non-stop until Karen eventually had to take him to the emergency room. Karen had to run an borrow a car as they had left hers downtown the night before, too drunk to drive home. In some ways this left her in a position of power as he was debilitated and she was taking care of him.

It was from this place that the idea of Vixen: Poison for Your Relationship evolved. In the end of Karen’s story, the ex told her it would be too much pressure on him if she were to move closer, so the idea of “Vixen” became even more delicious.

Sarah Thompson – Comic Art and Content

Don’t go for the kill

Does a cheetah ask a gazelle if it is ready to die? This is the mentality that will get you a slapped in the face. Most guys will wait until the end of the night, impatiently, to make that sudden and slippery move; the undesirable forced-smooch-with-violating-tongue kiss. There are some signals that need to be properly interpreted;

Her Signals

• She gets rid of the chewing gum
• She glances at your lips while listening to you
• She starts by looking down. Then, without words, she holds your gaze for a few seconds with a demure smile. Then, look away.
• She will hide her hands behind her back.
• She snuggles her face into your neck, barely kissing your cheek.
• She slowly move her lips towards you
• She kisses very softly
• She moves away slowly

What he thinks the signals are;

• She has been chewing gum all night long.
• He paid for dinner
• She looked at him
• She is not trying to jump out of the car. Only a little desperate to go back home
• She is not yawning
• She is not talking to some other dude about getting together later that night but send a lot of text messages
• He thinks that she thinks he is an awesome dude because she laughed at his drunk stories and hasn’t call him an idiot
• She is not drunk-ass throwing up everywhere
• She didn’t get that angry when he grabbed her butt in front of his friends

After the Smooch Signals blog posted yesterday I received this email from a Guest Writer. I thought it will be great to share what she has to say.

“I have been watching the TV technique…not that that’s any reflection of reality. But anyway, most of the time in the movies, the woman puts her lips very close to the man’s lips (after some appropriate pause in the conversation).

He gets the clue (how could he not?) and completes the last inch required for contact. For me, I have never had to be that assertive and if I really like the guy, would probably be too shy to move in before he does. If we are both shy, well, I guess we’ll have to get really drunk first, stumble into each other and bump our lips together by accident before one of us blushes and pulls away. But according to your blog, the guys are never shy and are basically going to give it a try no matter what.

So maybe you should find out what women do to give out the signal that they DON’T want to be kissed?

Here are some obvious clues;

• She throws up.
• She leaves the party w/out saying good-bye
• She talks about having a cold or the flu
• She hides in the bathroom until you wander away
• She initiates a short and sweet peck on the cheek and turns her back on you.
• She doesn’t answer the phone when you call
• She doesn’t call back
• She lets you kiss her while firmly keeping you at a distance with her hand on your chest
  
• She starts eating a slice of pizza … or anything
• She checks her phone for messages
• She belches like a truck driver
• She talks about how much you would like her friend Bambi (unless she is into some other arrangements we won’t discuss here)”

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